Thermostat vs Thermometer

Thermostat... is the thing that controls and sets the temperature, while thermometer is the thing that measures temperature, it fluctuates according to the surrounding. As Christians, we are encouraged to be like a thermostat, in fact, we should be like the thermostat... set the standard to this world and not be swayed by the circumstances of life.

I have always considered myself blessed that I am not 'over-exposed' to life's temptations and pressure and stress... well, of course, I do have my share of trials in life. I admire fellow believers who have to face office politics, unethical practices, peer pressure (what people have we must have, what people do we must do that kind of pressure) and yet stand victorious according to the standard of Christ! God, grant them divine favour!

This was the lesson during cell group last Friday. Right after the lesson ended, I was given a taste of what it is like to be pressed and tested! No, it is not to be involved in any sinful act. It is just that someone was asking me where am I going to send my Shane to next year since he will be in Standard One. I told them that I have decided to send him to national school. And, wah!, I didn't know I was going to get such an overwhelming response! The members were trying to convince me that I didn't make the 'wisest' decision. I knew the fact that about 8 to 9 out of 10 Chinese parents send their children to Chinese typed national school. But does this statistic qualify anyone to say that it is best to 'follow the crowd' and disregard my ability to decide what is best for my son? I felt challenged. Ok, so the case ends here, because the point is not to justify my decision. Again, I must say, I was not being pressured into any sinful act! Just that, I suddenly feel how my other fellow believers felt when they were pressured to follow/oblige into something that could be unpleasing to God. The issues were different, but the experience and feeling were quite similar. So, was it hard to be like a thermostat? You bet! But it is not impossible, and with a little practice and divine grace, it gets easier. Am I more towards being a thermostat or thermometer? Only God knows...

I thank God for this experience. It makes me more eager and ready to lend a listening ear to my friends.. and I pray that I can offer some kind of encouragement... and to be a blessing...

Strong Pillars

We've been in church for 3 consecutive days... I was really expecting a word from the Lord, since He has already restored me, I am sure He will send word to confirm. The enemy did a lot of his nasty schemes on me, though. My mind was bombarded with negativity, self-pity, hostility, sarcasm, and you name it, you might get it correct. Well, it might also be that time of the month when women, you know, kind of errrmm..

I was fighting... a battle in my mind, constantly fighting. I heard things like 'you are not thinking right, God won't speak to you', 'God won't speak to someone who's not sane', 'you are not worthy enough'... terrible, terrible... I almost fall to believe those absurd voices... I even told myself, 'you know, all these voices, they might be right'. But thank God, I've always believed my God loved me so so so much, He would never say such things to me.

We had a wonderful time, allowing God to speak through His servant, Rev. Russel Sage, a prophetic evangelist who hails from Australia. Nope, I didn't receive anything from the Lord for the first 2 nights. I was kind of upset. But the Lord shed some light when Pastor Russel prophesied on Kate... he said she is a dancer, a worshiper before the Lord, kind of like King David the Psalmist... with lyrics and songs she will worship the Lord... (haha, you should see Kate dances, at her age... she's got the moves, a lot of moves).
Did Pastor Russel know that I am in the worship ministry? I doubt. Then, it must be GOD! I was expecting so much, but still nothing for me yet. Oh, by the way, Danny got a word from someone saying that he would teach... this is the 2nd time someone say that to him. Hmm... well, he sort of know that he is to teach but have no idea what (drums possibly) because, I guess, like me he feels inadequate.

Today... Pastor Russel was saying about a new season. A new sound. Hmmm, maybe that's for me, I thought. In the end, He called the young people (below 30 of age) to the altar, my friends Lisa and Sook Leng went... suddenly I don't feel so young anymore! Later, he called those who want new things from the Lord, and this time I went... pretty much nothing, too. Service ended, I still feel the discontentment (I hope it's a holy discontentment ;-P). I approach my Senior Pastor, Pastor Lawrence and asked for permission to get Pastor Russel to pray for us as a family. So it was after he prayed for Shane and Kate that he said this... when the church is growing, expanding... we, Danny and myself, we will be the strong pillars in the church... Vital strong pillars.

Now, that should mean something, but I still want more (aiyo, sounds so greedy lar!)... I don't know, I just feel that way. Well, more will come. All I need to do now is walk in obedience.

Lord, teach us...

Shane & Kate

This is my son, Shane Liang Khai-Xien. Handsome, right?

He is 6 now. I always thank God for the opportunity to parent over Shane... after all my son doesn't totally belong to me, he belongs to the Lord. We, Danny and myself, had the privilege to pray the sinner's prayer with Shane. He accepted Christ this year. And gosh, the next day after that he told me, 'Mom, I am sad' and cried for no apparent reason. This has quickened me to always, always cover my children in prayers. I know the enemy is not happy at all, but we've got Jesus!

Somewhere in April this year, Rev. Becky Marking prophesied on him... God has given him the gift of being creative (this is evident even now!)... doing things with his hands. Also, God has bestowed upon him the gift of evangelism... people will be drawn to God whenever he shares to them (he does draw people to him in a very 'special' way, as a matter of fact people love to care for him)... It is wonderful to know what was revealed and the task now is to further develop him in these areas. As his parents, we will also have to see to the test of time and confirmations of what is being revealed. I pray that the Lord will empower us as parents to nurture and train him in the way he should go, so that when he is old he will not turn from it (Proverb 22:6).

And this is Liang Kate-Lynn, Shane's little sister. She'll turn 1 in a month's time. We call her Kate. Isn't she just adorable? My kids, they just make me enjoy parenting so much! Thank You, Lord! Who says parenting is a breeze? Of course it's challenging!

She's quite a handful... but I thank God, after much prayers, she's got a few breakthroughs... Praise the Lord!

Well... this was being said of her... The little prophetess... her eyes connected with Rev. Becky's while she was being prayed for. She will see things that most people don't understand or see. God will show her things that few people will know. Exciting, isn't it? This task is also unbelievable! Again, the test of time will have to prove it. Not by might nor by power, but by His Spirit (Zechariah 4:6).

Lord, may You form a hedge of protection over Shane and Kate... and may they fulfill the destiny that You've called them to. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Restored!

I know He has called me and at one point of my life, I was so sure that it was this ministry that I am involved in. So I pledged that I will fulfill that call. Then it occurred to me that I am not capable, how can and how will He use me further than what I am doing in the current ministry. I wandered around. Hoping to find other familiar areas that I think He can use me at. I was lost in the sea trying to figure out 'Is this IT?' Now, I call that arrogance.. (silly me!)

Also, at another point of my life, I simply confronted Him and said, 'That's it, Lord... consider my calling void because I am not sure anymore that I have a calling at all.' Wow! Come to think of it now, isn't that sheer arrogance on my part, trying to tell God what to do. Who am I to tell Him that?! But He was patient and very gracious with me. Almost a year after my stance (haha!), He called me back... through a prayer night by Resonance.

When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. (Ecclesiastes 5:4-7)

Lisa reminded me again about God's call. I am still very aware that once called, forever called. She pointed out to me, the only thing that hinders God to fulfill the calling is my own 'disbelief'. Convicted! I asked God for forgiveness... I must allow God to be God! It doesn't really matter what calling I have, I just want Him to be by my side. It's the journey... I realized I must not sway away. At first it sounded noble to find a ministry that I can relate to (e.g. family, parenting, counselling, women's ministry...) but if that's not what God wants me to do, then it will never be. Even if I find myself a little handicapped in the Worship Ministry, but if here's where He wants me to be... then so be it!

But then I asked the Lord the other night before I sleep... 'Lord, how is it going to work?' 'My Dear, read Matthew 14:15 onwards...'

It talks about the miracle of Jesus feeding the five thousand... with only five loaves of bread and two fish... Uhuh! That's how I felt... I only have so much to offer... I sense that it will take a miracle for me to be able to fulfill that call, but it (the miracle) will happen!

I may have forgotten, but He remembers...

My Buddies!

Let's talk about my hubby first. His name is Danny. We've been married for more than 7 years now. We have 2 adorable kids in Shane and Kate. He is a person who walks the talk. Not everybody understands him, though (sometimes, I don't, too ;-P) Very practical. Always helps me to balance myself... a wonderful husband and father. I am glad God matched us together. Being married to this family man is more than what I wanted. I pray that God will help him to realize his potential in Him. My hope is that we will together realize God's purpose in our lives. I love you, Danny.

Lisa, my bestest buddy, came back from DTS recently (some sort of a short-term missions training school) all charged up, and it is definitely contagious! I am so happy for her, so glad to have her back, too... I really pray that the fire within her will continue to burn and spread to wherever God wills it to be. A chat with her, normally realigns me back to God's purpose in my life. I love her for just being herself as God uses her in her giftings. Can't get enough of her! Love you lots, Lisa!

Sook Leng... someone whom I enjoy being with very much, also a dear friend. Just beautiful the way she is. She's very real, as in what you see is what you get. I am always blessed just by being with her. She also went to DTS before. I am amazed at how God can work through a person, especially when they have attended DTS... not that I am promoting DTS or God can only do His stuff there, just that it is another wonderful channel where God can! Love you too, Leng!

Hoe... It's amazing how God can sustain our friedship... though we don't exchange deep thoughts and feelings, but I guess we respect and appreciate the relationship that has come about. I've always said, he will make a good husband..haha! Well, my kids enjoy his company, too. Great couple, Hoe and Leng... hehehe. Thanks, Hoe, for everything!

Another friend, Carmen... she's into ministering and reaching out to hurting women... a noble cause that not many would bring oneself into. I admire her willingness, her faith. It's an ocean out there, and she really needs to depend on God for His leading. I am impressed, Carmen.

Hmm... I hope Uncle Lau won't mind me callling him my buddy! He is actually more like a mentor to me and Danny. Always, always has been a blessing. His wise counsel is always welcomed. To me, Auntie Bella and Uncle are godsend! Thanks, Uncle and Auntie Bella!

These are the people that add abundance to my life. Thank God for bringing us together in this wonderful manner!

Not Me!

I could have done more! I was so upset with myself for not putting more time to prepare for my duty. I was complaining - Lord, why can't You help Kate nap longer... the laundry is piling up... the toilet needs cleaning... I need to spend more time waiting on You but I can't seem to be able to! I thought I need to do something so that God will move. I was so discouraged that I almost wanted to throw the towel... but everytime when I feel this way, I sensed His Spirit ministering to me...

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

The point is, it is not me, not what I have to do to so call please Him! It is what the Spirit can do and what He wants to do. The Lord sort of 'reprimanded' me but it was more of a comfort than a reprimand... 'Your weaknesses are made perfect in My strength...' for as long as I obey and avail myself, that's what He wants from me. It is Him, it always has been...

What Now?

Celebrated Shane's 6th birthday on Merdeka and had a wonderful time with my buddies talking about almost everything... ha, got to know that Jimmy proposed to Joyce. It's been quite a while since we last had such a great time (for me at least)...

We touched about spiritual things: giftings, calling and stuff. I admire, and sometimes even envy, my friends' certainty on what they intend to do, or shall I put it this way, on what the Lord wants them to do. Here, I do feel clueless about my part. What gifting(s) has the Lord given me? What does God want me to do for Him for His Kingdom's sake? Sometimes, I can sense God being so clear to me, but other times I waiver... Have I not done enough to seek His will? Or has He revealed enough? I really don't know... Now that my priority is my family (after God, that is), what do I need to do?

I have come to a conclusion...

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

It is the 'now' that I am living in... in fact all of us are living in the 'now'. And that's what matters most to me and to Him! I am sure in due time God will reveal more to me. I'll have to live as best as I can for Him, not because I have to, but I want to... because I love Him. Of course I am still human and sometimes or most of the time I am very human haha! If you know what I mean.